Text of the 9th HN lecture by Maggie Gobran |
Last modified: 17 September 2021 13:39:24 |
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24 november 2007, Janskerk, Utrecht by Maggy Gobran (Mama Magie), Cairo, Egypt Love: giving and forgivingYou are so close to smell the fragrance of his breathing. Please allow me to share with you some of my experiences more than twenty years ago. I use to teach at the American University in Cairo. Cairo is a city of seventeen million people, the third largest city in the world. At the American University you will find the most prestigious students, the sons and daughters of the president, the ministers, people in the government, the business people, the best people and they were my good friends. One day I heard God’s voice. He told me I want to upgrade you. You are teaching these students, I want you to go to other kind of students. I want you to go and teach and learn from the poorest of the poor: the children. What did I find there that He wanted to upgrade me? I found God himself waiting for me At my first visit I made, I could not believe what I see. Only from the smell. They do not have clean water they don’t have electricity, they don’t have any services, no schools, no churches, no kind of education. But you know what; when I came back home I spend three days and three nights in bed. I was literary sick from the smell. At that time when I left everything to think of what I had seen and experienced, God spoke to me: “They do not need your gifts, they need you, yourself. Go yourself and spend time with them and listen to me there and there you will find me.” When I asked a little boy: “What is your dream, what do you want to do in the future?”, he answered with a gesture of his hands: nothing. I said: “ Why can you not have a dream, no wish for anything”. He said:” My father was a failure and proudly I will be like him, nothing, I cannot do anything successfully in this life”. I could not believe God to allow this to happen. So all what we do is to say to this children: “ You can, you can have a dream, you can be a successful person, you can have a future, yes you can. You are not alone, you have the ultimate power of this world with you, you have Jesus and than you can.” So what I did after that ? I went back home and did two things. I opened my bible and started reading it from the very beginning. I told myself I will not stop until I have some real answers from God. What I found in the bible was the new hope, the new light. I could feel God’s breathing in the bible. The second thing was to go back to the poor children. When I visited them again and again they always held my hands and my arms, each one holding my arm. When I listen to them I honestly feel I am listening to God’s heart beating in these small hearts. In every little poor child I saw God. Every time my hands touch their hands, I am toughing God. Every time I listen I hear God’s heart. Every time I hug a child, I feel Gods arms surrounding me. How can I not fall in love with such feelings, which such reality. Who am I to touch God ? Who am I to serve the kings of kings? Later on I found out great hero’s did the same. I read from Basil the Great: “I have wasted most of my life acquiring knowledge. One day I woke suddenly as if from a deep sleep” - and this was happening to me, I was in a deep sleep - “and saw the light of the truth that all knowledge and wisdom of this world appears as just foolishness before God’s wisdom.” He began to do two things: read the bible and secondly mix with the poor. I believe Henri Nouwen did the same. He got his inspiration from reading the bible and from mixing with needy. That was a great confirmation for me to continue. I ask myself, why are people so surprised that I leave the American University and go to the poorest of the poor children’s? I think, many times we are so busy with our own lives. Instead of writing our own love story with our spirit, that live for ever, we allow the world and the material world to write our story. This is not fair for me or for you. It put falls glory and that leads to emptiness, loneliness and than death, real death. If I loose myself, I loose everything. So I stop and take my live more serious. I do not allow the world to put its principles and values in my live. What is happening in this world. You see people running after wealth and they think when they have more, they are more secure. I don’t think you yourself agree about that. The world gives you the impression that if you are powerful enough, well connected, well educated ,you have the final word. Do you think so? The world appreciates a lot the external beauty and forgets about what is inside. And the fame and reputation .. if you look at the football player, a famous one, the whole world is under his knees.. whatever he asks, every one is running for him to do it for him or an actress, the media is so deceiving. That cannot be the case with God. The values of God , of the spirit, are instead of taking and accumulating more wealth its secret is in giving. If you give you really feel rich inside you. Give and you will be given. The power is not in your phd or the connections. The real power is when you have the ability to forgive and have the compassion. The real beauty does not come from external looking, the real beauty is the beauty of your spirit, from inside, from really sincere and serving others. The reputation cannot work in front of God and the whole world does say something about you, God sees your heart. Henri Nouwen knew that and he was a great example of abandoning the glory of the world and embracing Gods values, the spirit. Allow me to share with you what I have been thinking over and over again. Where should I take my values from, what is real in this live? We are all here some time, short time may be and we are leaving. What will remain? What will remain is your spirit, it will never go away. When you are looking at God’s eyes you can see inside you and inside I found God, inside Him I found myself. God is love, God is eternity and in Him my spirit will live for ever. I am not any more the same person, I am not anymore under the law of this world. I don’t feel jealous because my brother is more successful than I am. On the contrary, I feel happy because his success is my success. We are all human, we are all spirits. I don’t feel threatened if he got power or wealth. I feel more strong because my fellow brother in this live is doing something really good. His rightness’s will be a blessing to me and my rightness’s, my honesty and my faithfulness will bless for others. Whatever from heaven is allowed for you is kept for you. No none can take it. I pray that all people who knows God realize that we are not a threat to each other. On the contrary we are in love with each other because inside you I can see God and this is the one that I love. So I love you because I can see inside you and you can love me, not because of my appearance or because of what other people are saying but you can see the spirit of God inside me and you love God. By loving we are moving to eternity, You, your spirit, is eternal it will never die. When it comes to practical love, what is really love all about? For me it was summarized in two words: to give and to forgive. I found giving is a real secret for happiness. I saw a little boy who was hungry. He did not eat for a whole day, twenty four hours. When I gave him a piece of sandwich, he got it into two pieces to share it with his sister in front of my eyes. I learned from these children the secret of giving. It is not all what I have belongs to me. Who said this; the world? He will not stand with you one day in heaven. Don’t believe it. What you have, belongs to Him. If you want to invest, give away and it will come back to you. It is not how much I have, it is how much I give. How many people have been blessed by what you have? This is eternal. Let me share with you one of the most developing countries in the Middle East now, is the golf area, specially Dubai. Why is it developing that quickly. Around sixty or seventy years ago, when they found the oil, the prince of Dubai, the first one, did not want to do like the other Arab leaders. Usually when they have wealth, they take it all to their family. This one said we will keep 50% of what we have for the family the other 50% we will give away, we will give 25% to make services in the country, another 25% to the people. Instead of taking from the people, he decided to give the people, to make all his people indifferent their standard of living. Now it is the most developing country in the area. He gave and he has received. If you forget anything about tonight, please remember this: giving is your best future friend. The second part of loving is forgiving. I saw a little girl, Mary. She refused to talk or to speak to anyone. When I asked: “what is your name?” she said nothing. Later on we asked the little Mary to come and be with us in the vocational centre so that she would learn something with her hands. There she found love, she found really care and respect. She gained back self respect and self esteem. When we knew her story, when she was three years old she saw the killing of her own mother by the hands of the father. Since that time she refused to talk or to communicate with anything in the world around her. When she came to the vocational centre and experienced love, learning about forgiving one year later she could accept Jesus and knew how to forgive. The last time I saw her, her teacher told me: “Mama please ask Mary to be quiet she is talking all the time, she in singing, dancing and very joyful, because she knew how to forgive”. She had nothing to loose but she has realised the real love. Now the whole world can not give you the real love. When we loose all material things, in fact the material things have no place with spirit. When vestments fall, when friends vanish, when prestige crumbles to the ground, when confidence fades, when health is weak, when all hope is lost, then God raises the arm of hope. When God appears, love begins. When one has nothing, God becomes everything. Henri Nouwen said it in another beautiful way: “When nothing is left to loose, spiritual strength is found”. Don’t be afraid: you are the spirit from His spirit, from eternity. The best knowledge in this world is the one who really knows himself. The best victory is the one having victory over his own weaknesses. The greatest hero in the whole world , not the one we see on television, the greatest hero is you when you accept what God allows in your life. That will be recorded forever for you. The last story I like to finish and end up with …When I was young girl, seven or eight years old and went to primary school, I was walking in the play ground than all of a sudden I saw a sunflower talking to me. I remember for few days I left everyone during the break and went to stand before this flower, may be I did not understand it at that time. Fifty years later I came here to The Netherlands and was invited into the house of friends. At that time I read some of Henri’s books and understood that the sunflower meant something to Henri. Guess what? A few minutes later a man and his wife came to visit. It was the first time for me to meet them. You know what they did give me: sunflower. They did not know that Henri spoke to me trough sunflower. I am so grateful this man and his wife, who passed away this year, has followed his spirit, guidance and tonight I feel that her spirit is with us now and I would like to pay back what I have received to him. Please .. (MM hands over a sunflower to the man, she meant, who is in the audience) I believe, with God we can never fail, never. Without God, we can never succeed. As we celebrating Henri’s life, one day we will stand before God. We all will be together again and your spirit will be celebrated and all you did during your life time will be celebrated. We are here on a journey, it is a rehearsal for the real life. To night we would like to think of little things we would like to do, but we will do it with great love. What is it? Is it giving, is it reading your bible? If we really celebrate Henri’s live, we would like to present a little gift to him. If you all can take one moment of silence and think I have to have something new in my live, a new hope a new gift, I will stand with it one day before God. I want to celebrate something: love, giving and forgiving. Can you think for yourself. If you use to give 10 of your income to charity, give 20 or 15 or what ever God will lead you. But tonight make it as a corner stone in your live; if you read your bible read one more chapter every day. See after one year how it will be. Let us take the moment of silence in gratitude for Henri, for the live of the man’s wife and above all for God ….. (Utrecht, Janskerk, 24/11/2007) |